It’s Not Selfish to Be Selfish

Are you tired of being everything for everyone else?

As a former Good Girl myself, my body still has memory of what it was like to do for everyone else and serve others from an empty cup. So deep-seated was this belief of needing to be selfless that I have to make a conscious effort to say no to things that don’t align with my highest good even until this day.

What is selfish is others allowing you not to honor your needs, betray your inner voice because you’ve been taught to do for others, “to respect” others even if every fiber of your being has sounded the alarms.

When something isn’t right, our body knows it; when a conversation isn’t right, when we don’t feel good about the situation that we are in, but we stay anyway because we don’t want to hurt others, and never realize that we are hurting ourselves in the process.

Why do we do it?

You can’t take advantage of someone fully aligned in their body because someone who is fully in tune and aligned would never betray their needs.

But you can take advantage of someone that has severed the connection to their body.

This broken connection to the body happens over time. When we are first born, we come into the world knowing everything we need to know. We know what feels safe because we haven’t yet drunk the forgetfulness of those that surround us. We fully remember who we are, and we are entirely in alignment with our body’s needs.

Along the way, we bear witness to the women in our family, maybe our mother, who never learned how to love her body. They disconnect from it, and they don’t trust it. They betray it, punish it, compare it, and develop a distorted relationship with the vessel that brought them into the world to experience the wonders of life.

The body should be celebrated; to feel, experience, and embody every part of the journey.

But the message we received is that it is not safe and should not be trusted. We start thinking everyone has the answers, that everyone else knows more than we do. “Who do I need to go to get answers?” when the answers are already inside ourselves if we stop and listen.

We broke an unspoken universal agreement with ourselves; to love, honor, and trust ourselves.

So, then, when is it ok to be selfish?

I think there is a fine line between being selfish, having boundaries, and practicing self-care. If you are always in your masculine energy of doing, going, and taking care of everyone else, do you believe that you can sustain this type of energy? How can you serve from an empty cup? Eventually, you will hit a wall because you have not set boundaries for yourself and others, and self-care has taken a backseat.

You start with a deep reverence for your body. If you knew how much your body is always working for your best interest (always healing you, always loving you, and providing you), you would never forsake this kind of love.

As women, our soul’s ultimate desire is to be sovereign beings, have full authority over our bodies, and stand in a place of power knowing precisely who we are because we choose to live in a place of truth — That is freedom.

The decision to remember who you are is not selfish because loving yourself fully is never selfish.

From my spirit to yours, I pray that you remember this truth.